It's Been A While...

Mmm yes. Break. I had my doubts at me actually surviving the end of the semester to actually reach this point in time. Break consists of:
Food
Reading
Family
Adam

and that's juuuuust about it. Yay!

What is with these nightmares?

Dream.

I was in a big group of people rounded up... it essentially was like the Nazis/Jews, except I don't know what reason they were giving. It's kind of blurry until we were all in this big auditorium (with seats for the audience and a stage, etc). They were putting names and the person's status up on a projector, and I saw my name with "D/co" next to it. Apparently that means I was going to be suffocated in a coffin. We left the auditorium in a bus after all the people who were going to be executed in that place were, and we drove to the "coffin suffocating" place. I was looking for a way to escape, naturally, and when the driver pulled too far over to the right next to a steep embankment that led down to a swamp, I yelled "Everyone lean to the right! To the right!" and everyone jumped over to the right-hand side of the bus. The driver lost control, and we all fell inside the bus down about 40ft to the swamp. Crawling out a window, I could see everyone running into the swamp/woods, as did I. At the other end of it, I found this city (seemed Mexican??) and waited to meet up with other people. I met up with one person, and we wandered around because we didn't know where we were. Some officers who were looking for the escapees found us but we killed them and took their suitcase full of money with plans to get passports and run away somewhere. I called my dad (because apparently my cell phone was still in my pocket) and then my alarm woke me up.

One Fine Day in the Middle of the Night -Christopher Brookmyre

One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other.

One was blind and the other couldn't see
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play
A dumb man went to shout "hurray!"

A paralyzed donkey passing by
Kicked the blind man in the eye.
Knocked him through a nine-inch wall
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.

A deaf policeman heard the noise
And came to arrest the two dead boys.
If you don't believe this story's true
Ask the blind man, he saw it, too!

Nightmares

I've been having nightmares the past two nights about people eating me. The first one was Anthony Hopkins as that freaky guy from Silence of the Lambs. Last night's was about this monster/creepy thing in person form, and it needed to eat someone every week or so or else it would go insane and kill everyone... so it was it's feeding time and it was creeping around looking for someone to catch. I hid in this one place but it found me and it started eating the toes of my left foot. I could feel it biting and when I looked at them, the toes were half gone and bleeding really bad.
So. Scary.

Toes

To dream that you lose or gain a toe(s), suggests that you lack determination and energy needed to move forward in some situation.

To dream that you hurt your toe or that there is a corn or abrasion on it, signifies that you are feeling anxiety about moving forward with something.

Graduate School

So I'm just doing this to get my own thoughts in order, no need to actually read if you don't want to!

My List:

University of Maryland $13,815
Program: Cell Biology & Molecular Genetics with a Specialization in Plant Biology

New York University $27,336
Program: Plant Biology

Smith $33,940 (eek!)
Program: Biological Sciences

University of Rhode Island $19,044
Program: Biological Sciences/Molecular, Cell and Developmental Biology

University of Connecticut $5,026 (!!)
Program: Plant Science

Pennsylvania State University $13,948
Program: Plant Biology

And "plant biology" is not horticulture or botany or environmental science... it's plant biotechnology and genetics, as in engineering new species and such.

The Shitshow

Soooo... Friday night was fun. We got all dressed up and went to a Halloween party!
And then one of the girls got upset for absolutely zero reason and went to go cry in the foyer. I went out to see if she was okay and ended up spending the entire time sitting with her. And to make it better, everyone who was coming by who knew her kept giving her nasty looks... why? Because she's been doing this for about 5 months. Every party. Ruining it. I've only been to one or two, thank god, because I really do not want to do that again. Her roommate was super pissed, because she is trying to get over her lameass boyfriend and wants to have a good time and has been taking care of her for those entire 5 months. All this started when the crying girl's long time boyfriend broke up with her really badly, but COME ON WOMAN. It obviously is not about that anymore, or else you would be able to control yourself!! At least sometimes! Straight up... it's pathetic.
So, she wants to leave so I go with her because we are really far away, I was getting kind of tired anyway and of course my mood of partying is completely ruined.
We walk the wrong way for about 10 minutes.
Turn around, follow some other people to the T.
Realize we are going the wrong way on the T for about 3 stops.
Get out, get a cab, drive home... at which time I realize I do not have my wallet. The girl gets into a fight with the cabbie because she's drunk and he won't drive me another 3 blocks to my house without restarting the meter. I push her out of the cab so he doesn't go apeshit. We go into her place, I call the people back at the party to ask them to look for my wallet for me. I'm starting to freak out.
Feel sick, use the toilet.
They call back, say they can't find it. Ok, so I probably dropped it on the T, that is most likely what happened, since it was super crowded and I mostly wasn't in my right mind.
I want to go home, so I make sure the girl is calmed down and wait for her roommate to get back so I can get in the car with friends and one of my suitemates to drive back. We get back, I have to convince the security guard that I do actually live there while feeling like shit. He lets me in, thank god, and I still have my keys so I can get into my room.
I get back, and reach for my phone to call Adam so I can tell him what happened and say goodnight.
My phone is not there.

What the fuck.

I call my phone with my suitemate's, some girl picks up and says she found it in the hallway outside of my friend's place. I tell her to bring it across the hall and thank you so much for finding it. She gives it to my friend, who promises to get it back to me the next morning.
I say goodnight to my suitemate and we both head to our rooms.
At this point I am beyond destroyed and cry myself to sleep, because not only have I lost my wallet and everything ($50 cash, BU I.D., driver's license, new metrocard, T pass with $20 on it, credit card...) in it, but now I cannot even call Adam like I promised him I would.
Wake up at 9:50 the next day, feel a little crappy but due to the late night toilet hug not too bad. My friend comes over to return my phone, I call and wake up Adam to let him know what happened. He is astounded. As am I.
I then am on hold with Bank of America for a grand total of 32 minutes before I snag a phone rep to cancel my card. No one has used it since I did last, thank god, so I'm hoping it is not stolen and just merely picked up and given to the T conductor.
The MBTA has a Lost and Found phone number to call, but oh great! it's only open Monday through Friday, so I can't do shit until tomorrow. And none of my friends found my wallet at the party, so I can only assume it was on the T. Full of strangers. And people ready to make off with my info and cash. Blugh.
So I talk to the crying friend at lunch and she tells me that it's because she's jealous of her roommate and how she's always the center of attention and I say she should tell her to try and smooth things over, because she's obviously angry and frustrated. She agrees to do so.
I see the roommate (the friend who gave me my phone back) for dinner and she vents about the crying girl, which I completely do not blame her for. It gets awkward when the crying girl IMs me right in the middle of it and calls the angry girl to find out that we are hanging out... and sounds pissed/annoyed because she wanted to talk to her but she's not there. So, great, now I'm in the middle of a showdown.

And I still don't have my wallet!!

German Teachers Are Crazy

Schwartz is talking about the whole mother/daughter/stepmother aspect in fairy tales and how usually there is tension between the aforementioned people. He then tells us how they read Snow White in past years and he was saying how mother-daughter tension plays an important role... but how he could not get any of the females in his class to admit that they had tension with their mother.

"I said that there is always mother-daughter tension and they all stared at me like I was from the moon. And I stared at all of them like they were from the moon. And I said..." [jumps on top of table and points fingers wildly like a crazed politician, screaming] "... YOU'RE REPRESSING IT! YOU'RE REPRESSING IT!" [gets down off table] "... of course, they didn't like that much either."

Heinrich von Ofterdingen ~Novalis

"Wenn euer Auge fest am Himmel haftet, so werdet ihr nie den Weg zu eurer Heimat verlieren."

If you firmly fix your eyes on the heavens, you will never lose your way home.

Next Semester

After this semester, I am done with my bio major. I still have three german classes to complete that one, though, so I do have some requirements I need to take - however, they are really small and my schedule looks SO empty.
This is what I'm going to do:
1. Directed Study/Undergraduate Research in Biology
2. Marx, Nietzsche, Freud
3. 19th Century German Culture
4. Undergraduate Research in German

# 1 and 4 do not have time slots, since they are based on the idea that I do the work whenever I want, as long as I get it done.
Therefore, my schedule looks like this:
Schedule
(blogger upload photos thing isn't working at the moment)

Anyway, as you can see, that's gives me HUGE chunks of time! I can only take one more class to overload before I have to start paying extra... so... here are the choices:
Abnormal Psych
American Sign Language
Archaelogy
Nothing at all

Those are the ones I'm interested in... or should I just stick with my four classes and awesome schedule?

Idea Catchers

Take a long drive going nowhere.
Dare yourself until you scare yourself.
Make your own face book of self-portraits.
Collect scraps, ephemera, odds and ends to brew a creative stew.
Mind-map a problem or a pipe dream.
Roam outside your range... explore quarks, reincartions, Louis IV, Louise Brown movies, Siberian nomads, Jungian archetypes.
Don't leave home without a blank page.
Turn off streaming video/tune in to stream-of-consciousness.
Make something with your hands to give your left brain a rest.
Go shopping when you're stuck.
Be a list maker... of memorable meals, what you've lost, all things blue, the best days of your life.
Ignore nay-sayers and they-sayers.
Free associate.
Hang out with outsiders.
Hit mute more often.
Be open to Enlightenment in the driveway, Astonishment at your desk, Inspiration at the supermarket.
Work til it hurts.